This is a follow-up post to week 3′s “Sh*t My Students Say.”
Over the years I have definitely found myself chuckling and laughing aloud while reading student work. Not only because of the content, but because of the inventive spellings kids come up with.
Below are some student writing and drawings I have collected over the years. FYI, I’ve kept the spelling “as is” to stay true to the author’s words and intents. So don’t think I’m a bad speller. I came in third in the 6th grade spelling bee ok?!
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It was about 6:30 pm and I was still at school. I was reading the students’ writing drafts. They wrote personal narratives and I had just taught a lesson on how to end your story with a lesson learned. I was up to the last story, which was about a boy who made a bet with his friend that he could crack a walnut in his bare hand. When he won, his friend refused to pay him. So at the end of the story, the boy wrote: “And the lesson I learned was…never trust a Mexican!”
I pulled him aside the next day and the first thing he said to me was, “Am I in trouble?” I asked him why he would think that. He replied, “Because my story is racist.” I had no words. I just gave him back his story and smiled. He said, “Ok, I’ll fix it.”
This particular student was a very creative writer. He thoroughly enjoyed our fairy tale unit where he wrote about a flying pig searching through the forest for a ham sandwich. Very clever. When we hit poetry, he was thrilled. Thanks to a wonderful idea I got from a fellow teacher, we created “recylced poetry”. This entails giving the students 5 random words cut from a newspaper or magazine. Students then create a poem incorporating the five words. Here is what racist 3rd grader came up with:
If you can’t read it, here is the translation:
I love my beaver!
I have to call my pet beaver now because he had a heart attack. I love my beaver so much. He’s so furry. I got him when I was a kid.
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Here is an entry I found in a student’s reading notebook.
The book was about Mindy and Mandy they raped themselfs with paper. (OUCH!) they can not move at all (WELL OBVIOUSLY!). She was being chased by someone. She was scared because she was being chased. I bo (do)no like to get chased by people.
Maybe I should take that book out of my library. It really doesn’t seem age-appropriate. KIDDING! M & M are friend detectives who get themselves in a mummy mess and WRAP themselves with paper. Guess I have to work on teaching silent w.
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Here is a really pleasant student who decided to write back to my comments in her writing notebook.
Yep, she crossed out my comment and wrote: “it is good for the last time stop doing this. my gosh!” Stop giving you compliments? Sure! You got it!
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Here she is again telling me to “shut up” after I suggested that she not number each sentence.
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Can you figure out why this animal is happy? Could it be the penis shaped toy in his mouth? Just wondering.
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On the topic of genitalia, here is another personal favorite of mine. I couldn’t include the picture because it said the actual’ names of those involved. I changed the names to protect the not-so-innocent.
Dear Ms. G and Ms. M,
Johnny and Bobby and Joey said girls have hairy dicks and the biggest dicks in the universe and they said Angela and Katie had boobs the size of Prospect Park and Homer’s hairy dick and Marge’s unappropriate parts. They also said that girls have vigina’s the size of the world. They also said we have huge shiny dicks. They also said we have Homer Simpson’s hairy ass’s and laughfted about everything.
Sincerely,
The Girls from your class
How do you even respond to something so ludicrous? The parents even laughfted laughed at this one!
_________________________________________________________________________________________This Another year, another group of perv boys and offended girls. This is a list of the “inepropriet” things the boys talk about at recess:
sex, bad words, girl-love, inepropriet vidio games, bad movies, kissing, inepropriet songs, grand thieft auto-a vidio game, and gangsters.
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This concerned student wrote me a cautionary letter. How sweet.
I hope you can stop screaming because you lost your vos but don’t keep screaming and keep screaming you can not speek no more. but I dont want you to lost your vos because I Love you.
Love, S
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Another sweet letter from a girl:
Dear Ms. G,
I wish I was in 3rd grade still so I could be with you because you ar the most funnyest , coolest, awesomest teacher I ever had! I like how you were so nice in the begining of the year. Then you became nicer in the middle of the year and then at the end you became the nicest you have ever bin. Well, I might see you next year if I have to deliver something to you. P.S. Like M says, Ms. G rocks my socks!
Love,K
I’m glad Iprogressively became nicer. That was nice of me.
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Girls aren’t the only ones who write sweet thangs. Here is a poem from a 1st grade boy:
Ms. G, Ms. G, you are calm and nice. You are good at soccer, with lots of edvice. You’ve helped us know how to read and write. I think that you are very bright (as in happy and stuff). Math routines are so much fun, After I go for a mighty run. You have helped us learn. You are the opposite of stern. The End.
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In honor of the upcoming V-Day, I’ll end with this.
Good luck not getting shot by the malicious Cupid in the middle of your back when you least expect it! That dirty bastard!

















