Since moving to Brooklyn two years ago, I have learned to get used to the many changes from my former life in the East Village. I certainly don’t miss the squeals of bachelorette party girls, scantily clad in super-mini mini-skirts and feather boas, clicking their heels outside my window on their way to Lucky Chengs. Or the mad dash to retrieve pots and pans during a rainstorm to collect the water pouring out of my roommate’s bedroom ceiling. Or listening to our upstairs neighbor’s cats chase each other. These are things I do not miss.
Some things I do miss since moving to the outer borough are: people who know the difference between a lemon and a lime, my block and a half walk to the subway and, oh yes, television.
My former roomie is in television production so we had every channel I never even knew existed. “Pretty Woman” in Spanish…done. Any sports event ever…you got it. Classic “Press Your Luck”….check. After an arduous day of educating the city’s youth, a few hours of mindless TV was my martini at the end of the day. I had a routine: “30 Minute Meals” on the Food Network at 6 to watch Rachel Ray slice and dice up some YUM-O meals, “Friends” reruns at 6:30 for nostalgia, “Jeopardy” at 7 to test my knowledge, “Seinfeld” reruns at 7:30 for some more nostalgia and then whatever weekday show du jour.
Those days are no more. My new roomie, and husband, didn’t have or want a television or the evil effects of its emissions. Too distracting, he says. It’s not healthy for you, he says. It eats up all your free time, he says. It causes loss of brain cells, he says. Hmmm, I thought. I am pretty distracted. I can stand to be a bit healthier and have more free time. And I certainly can not afford to lose any more brain cells. Although I wouldn’t describe myself as a television junkie, I consider television one of the cornerstones of my upbringing.
At age 6, while suffering from numerous bouts of strep throat which caused me to miss school, my job was to watch the devious deeds of the Dimeras from “Days of Our Lives” and give a detailed report to my mother.
I longed to be a Cosby. Who wouldn’t want a doctor father and a lawyer mother who still had the time to bounce you and your friends on their knees and choreograph a family routine to a Ray Charles hit for your grandparent’s anniversary?
Punky Brewster emanated the style I longed to duplicate.
I made up my mind at age 8 to name my future children Alex (boy or girl) after Michael J. Fox’s “Family Ties” character Alex P. Keaton.
I honed my letter writing skills by penning my admiration to the likes of everyone from Kirk Cameron to the cast of “Hunter” to ALF. Kirk was too busy for me but I became fan club members of “Hunter” and “ALF” (as well as Huey Lewis and the News.)
Luke Perry donned my bedroom wall despite the disapproving looks of my high school boyfriend.
In college I videoed myself trying to be irresistibly entertaining, cute and dynamic simultaneously to become the next member of complete strangers to picked to live in a house and “stop being polite and start getting real”. The tape was destroyed, along with my hopes of ever getting on “The Real World”.
When I spent a semester abroad, my friends taped the entire season of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s compelling performances in “Party of Five” and subsequently had a marathon to watch all the episodes.
Clearly, my relationship with television has been a close one, but I felt comfortable that TV was in fact like a good friend; even if we were to be out of touch for a while, we’d pick up right where we left off when we met again. I decided to try it. Television deprivation could be good for me, I thought. Like a colon cleanse. More time to read, to write, to attempt a more consistent exercise routine.
Two years later I realize I don’t really miss it. That’s because I found Hulu.com. Hulu shows TV shows for free eight days after the show airs. Not only do I get to re-enter social conversations about how “Modern Family” is the best show since “Seinfeld” or watch the inspiring transformations of obese couch potatoes to healthy workout freaks, I also get to revisit my favorite little fella from Melmac and relive the drama of Amanda and Billy’s breakup on “Melrose Place”….all for free!
I spend just a few hours a week catching up on the essential programs with limited commercial interruptions: “House”, “Modern Family”, “Grey’s Anatomy”, “The Biggest Loser”, “So You Think You Can Dance” and when my husband is not around, my guilty pleasure, “Glee”. It’s a nice mix of encouraging my hypochondriac nature (“Neurocystercercosis? Oh my GOD! I totally have that!”), non-trashy reality shows, ab workout worthy comedy show and absurdly entertaining and well written musical theater show.
Without cable television I have noticed I do read more, wish I could say the same about writing, and I have begun the uber-popular workout regime (yet still inconsistently) P90X. Bring it!
Although life is not about winning and losing, I will ultimately win the battle in this cable-less existence. I can always say I tried life without the telly…kind of. But giving up TV is like giving up coffee, or any other unnecessary pleasure. Yes, you can survive without it, but if it is something you enjoy, why deprive yourself?
You’re back! You’re back! Just so you know, I’m reading this instead of watching tv. And when I’m done reading this, I’ll get back to reading an actual book that has real paper pages and no pictures or sound effects! But without tv, I would have missed DJ3K, and that would be just plain wrong.